


Pathetic Bois

by HolyMad



Series: Daylighter Raphael Santiago [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, American English, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Bisexual Maia Roberts, Blood, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daylighter Raphael Santiago, Daylighter Simon Lewis, Demiromantic Simon Lewis, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Gay Raphael Santiago, Jewish Simon Lewis, Latino Raphael Santiago, Latino Simon Lewis, Lesbian Clary Fray, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Men Crying, Minor Character Death, POV Simon Lewis, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Past Clary Fray/Simon Lewis, Past Maia Roberts/Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago Has Feelings, Simon Lewis has ADHD, Whump, alternate universe - making sense, alternate universe - writing in character, cursing, jace neither racist nor played by dom, what should have happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-20 13:36:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14895581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyMad/pseuds/HolyMad
Summary: actually this is a summary so:Rapha learns Rosa will die and he's a weak bitch. Add kinda homeless Simon.---ykno that fight? was it a fight? idk. wrong.actually any vampire stuff was ooc lately. at least the content that i saw...so here's your fave salty vamp fan correcting that. i had a different version in mind starting way earlier. i might take some scenes from it. if i post the other thing some (or a lot) of content might be the same. we'll see. :D





	Pathetic Bois

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yellow_craion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellow_craion/gifts), [saphaelbanewood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphaelbanewood/gifts), [Sadlyamundane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/gifts), [WeWalkADifferentPath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWalkADifferentPath/gifts).



> Raphael knows about turning a daylighter, a couple of NY vamps are already, he's not because of his addiction.  
> But because of the recent relapse it doesn't have much of a point... according to Simon. So put off the rehab some weeks, become a daylighter and then do rehab in the sun with your family!!
> 
> Also Raphael's last name is also Hernández but I thought it's safer to tag him with the common tag.
> 
> As it's probably obvious I'm not really good with social interaction and social norms. Just imagine they're pretty smart but oblivious and touchy boiz.
> 
> Also should an akoiromantic really write about romantic attraction? idk  
> Maybe not read this if you don't have ADHD or if you have reading processing disorder. I tried to show Simon's pov and it... shows. :D

It's pathetic. Simon has been sulking for weeks now.

It's also ironic. Simon left Clary because (she thought??) she fell in love with Stephen, too. He couldn't grasp it then. Polyamory. Being in love with multiple people. Finding them attractive? Yes. Finding them _romantically_ attractive? No. Double standards. Pathetic.

And now Maia broke up because _she_ fell in love with _Clary_. Who came out as lesbian. Simon demands to have his gaydar. Pan Scan. Whatever.  
All he gets from this is that he's single. Again. Fuck karma.

So he's lying on his bed in a shed outside his ex-girlfriend's house, who might just be with his ex-ex-girlfriend/crush, and who also both had a thing with the same guy, who in return taught Simon how to kiss, leaving out that he's part angel and has huge tattoos. The circle has been closed. Or rather the clusterfuck has been solved. Simon wants out.

His phone vibrates. Star Wars, Death March - Raphael. He snorts at his dead pun and picks up.  
"Wha-"

 

 _"Home... Bring... Sweaters."_ Click.

 

There was a lot of rustling and sniffing but was he just invited to the hotel? What would happen if he didn't come? He wants to stay here and sulk in peace. He was _just about_ to go to bed. Canoe. Now, in 6 hours, who knows. Maybe going outside would be positive. Fine. However, what kind of sweaters should he bring? And why? Simon goes for some old ones that don't really fit him anymore. Baggy and worn out or shrunk. Not all baggy ones, though. They're comfy.

After several minutes, why would he speed?, he stands in front of his former home. For three weeks but in the end he did call it home. Until he was thrown out. Lily is waiting outside with crossed arms and a frown.

 

"Daylighter. Finally. Sixth floor, right, last door on the left. Go. Hurry. If you hurt him in any way I will end you."  
She shakes her head but opens the door. Very inviting.

 

He does speed up (As much as he can. There was not much training ground to practise speeding on stairs.) and knocks at the door.

 

A vampire he has never seen shows up. New Vamp raises an eyebrow and Simon lifts the bag.  
"Someone ordered clothes?"

 

The vampire blinks and Simon repeats the direction. The only response he gets is an arm pointing to the other side of the stairs. Lily meant right from the stairs not from the outside. Simon bows out extra politely and heads over to the (hopefully) right room.

The moment after he knocks the door is thrown open, Simon is pulled inside and all air is pressed out of his lungs. Raphael is hugging him. And crying blood into his t-shirt. Not knowing what to do he pats Raphael's head and asks "What are you doing?"

 

"Self care."

 

Very descriptive. Though he's crying, so there's that.  
"And that includes me not breathing?"

 

"Yes."

 

Nice. "Why am I not allowed to breathe?"

 

"You talk," a sob, "too much."

 

That's a thing Simon has heard a million times and still it never fails to rile him up. He tenses up and- indeed, there's no air left to talk. He pushes out of the hug, with all vampire strength he can muster, and looks at Raphael. The anger vanishes immediately.

He's a mess. The hair is a mess. His face is smeared in blood. Same for his neck. And the sweater. Wait. That's _Simon's_ sweater! He's been looking for that for _months_! Slightly too big and the right amount of frayed yarn to fidget but not enough to not wear it outside.

 

"Raphael, what is all this?" He flails his hand over Raphael's appearance. "And don't just say self care. Because you're gonna wash that sweater and give it back. Clean." He just hopes it's not stained permanently.

 

Raphael sniffs and whispers "You can have it back. Doesn't smell like you anymore anyways." After a pause he adds "Can we hug more?"

 

"You could first say what this is all about before you're staining that sweater and my t-shirt?" Not that it's one of his favorites. Still.

 

Raphael pushes back into the hug but not as fierce. Simon can breathe. He still stumbles a step backwards. "Rosa is dying. They give her a month."

 

Simon knows what it's like losing a family member. And Rosa is Raphael's _last_ family member. He also knows the best medicine for that case. He hugs back and Raphael starts crying again.  
"I'm sorry, Rapha. She's an awesome lady. Mostly."

 

"Why mostly," he growls. It's not as intimidating when he's also ugly sobbing.

 

Simon needs some comfort, too. That memory and that time of his life weren't nice. He shifts to better hug Raphael.  
"She said I should marry Izzy and we look cute." He shivers. Raphael laughs wetly and he slaps his back. "Hey! I felt super insulted, okay?"

 

"What did you answer?" Raphael presses out between giggling and sobbing.

 

"Since she stood next to me I just said something about how she's out of my league." Raphael chuckles. "What was I supposed to say, huh? 'No thanks, but that girl is super creepy and- racist.'" He looks at Raphael. "Is it 'racist'?" Raphael nods and Simon puts his chin back on his shoulder. "Ya. She still scares me."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

For what? He asks.

 

"Sympathy, Simon. Empathy. And thanks. I feel better now."

 

"You still don't want to become a daylighter? Or..." He hums. "I could stay at the home and video call you all the time," he muses.

 

"No, I- I'll just head over every evening."

 

"Raphael."

 

"No."

 

"Raphael. She's the last person who might know you. Because of you and not from stories."

 

Raphael tries to push away but fails. He must have lost a lot of blood. Maybe that's why Simon was able to get out earlier.  
"Do you think I don't know?? What if I have a relapse? I've _just_ been clean for a few weeks!"

 

"Raphael. Still. Maybe it's different when it's pure angel blood? Too sweet? Phteve didn't really taste good once the first thirst was gone."

 

"Please. I might relapse just from you talking." It's weak and Simon believes it. But when Rosa's dead he'll curse. "Also call the poor guy by his chosen name, you asshole. It's Stephen like his dad."

 

"I'll hold you back. No discussion. So Clary or _Stephen_?"

 

Raphael shivers. "Neither."

 

"Don't be stubborn. Come on." He rubs Raphael's back.

 

"I don't want to drink from either of them. I'll drink from you?" It's obvious he tries to sound joking.

 

Simon chuckles softly. "I doubt that counts. If you drink from ~~Pht~~ Stephen, it's like we're brothers!"

 

His nails bore into Simon's back.  
"That'd be awkward."

 

Why would it? What else is there to do? Raphael can't stay like this!  
"Please. One of them."

 

Raphael groans. "Las dos opciones suenan igual de terribles."

 

"Still. Cariño, you're not wasting time because of some fear when there are people who'll help you!"

 

"Don't," Raphael breathes.

 

Simon inclines his head. "Don't what?"

 

"Don't act all sweet and then leave me again. I can't take this another time. Not now. Not with Rosa. Not with the relapse."

 

Now Simon hugs him so tightly, that they can't breathe and with his last exhale whispers "I won't leave and you're gonna chug Phteve empty."

 

Raphael tries to comment but no word passes his vocal chords. He just groans and tugs his face into Simon's neck.

 

Few minutes pass until Raphael shifts and whines. Simon pulls away and looks concerned. What happened?

 

"I have to sit, Simon. Nothing special. I'm old. I might look dashing and young but I'm not." He retreats to a close sofa and a moan from deep out of his core passes his teeth.

 

Simon rushes next to him.  
"But aren't you young? What if we become super old?"  
He's _not_ looking forward to be like this in a couple decades. _Decades_. He's really coming to terms with being immortal. He's proud.

 

"There is a potion but I'm too young to take it. It makes me feel ancient."  
He crosses his arms in front of his chest. It's _not_ overly attractive.

 

"If you have pain, you take medicine. As long as it has no severe side effects?"  
Maybe it makes you dizzy? Or freezes your joints? Or makes them squea-

 

Raphael turns his head and frowns. "You sound like Papá. Stop."

 

Simon has to grin. And then "Who- you mean Magnus?"

Raphael nods.

Simon reaches his arm out to pull him onto his lap.  
"Come over." Raphael hesitates and Simon waves his hand. "Now hop on. Wanna make sure I'm trapped and can't leave, right?" He smirks.

 

Raphael throws his legs over Simon's and cuddles into his side. He whines sortly and pulls his legs close to his chest supporting his position with his heels between Simon's thighs. Finally, he makes some more obscene sounds and soft Spanish curses.  
Simon wants to tell him off for the language but bites it away grinning. Instead he hugs Raphael's waist and cups his nape to move him closer into the embrace. He combs the hair there and whispers "Sleep. I'll call Steve later okay?"

 

"Wait. I need S-" He stills. After opening his mouth a couple times he just says "The teddy behind me. Can you reach him? And the blanket over the back."

 

Simon looks over and reaches for the huge plush. "Only if you tell me _his_ name."

 

He hides in Simon's t-shirt and says "He doesn't have one."

 

Simon can hear fine because of his awesome senses. Which also means he _really_ has to move out of the hut.  
Back to present. A male teddy bear without a name. Shtus. "Look. His name starts with an S. Santiago?"

 

Raphael looks up, appalled, and Simon's hand falls from his neck to the shoulder. "I wouldn't name him after me!"

 

He bites his lip and tilts his head. What else? "Superman?"

 

Raphael has an unreadable expression, then he smiles. "Yes, he's my superman."

 

"Jewish?"

 

"Like you." Good. Simon grins. "Now gimme."

 

He hands him 'Superman' and pulls the blanket over them. (Simon doesn't really believe the name but also doesn't want to push it.) Raphael manages to squeeze him between his chest and thighs. Good quality if he keeps it form after that. The fur and shirt will be super dirty from the blood so Raphael might throw him away anyways.

Raphael looks back and forth between the bear and Simon, then giggles awkwardly. Simon raises an eyebrow and the giggling intensifies. "Just cuddle me. Us."

 

Simon hugs him again until he falls asleep. Then he pulls his hand away to text Magnus - how bad is it really to have Rapha drink angel blood again? - only for Raphael to wimper softly. He looks away from his phone and pushes his other hand up to comb Raphael's hair. The wimper stops. Simon shakes his head and types again.

 

Lily barges in. "Okay, I'm fed of these noises. Stop hurting- Is that blood??" She rushes to them.

 

It's okay to be overprotective but maybe not now? "Yes, Lily. He cried. That's why you called me, didn't you. But he's asleep now so, please, be quiet," he murmurs.

 

Her face lightens up. "How much blood did he loose?"

 

Same thought. "I've tried to get him to drink Stephen. I'm talking with Magnus about specifics and risks but it looks good. Did you think he tasted good? I was almost starving but a good meal is something different."

 

She swats it away. Is she against re-turning? "Tsk. I'm not a daylighter. I'll prefer for the guinea pigs to stay like it a couple decades. Then. Maybe. I don't need the sun or blushing. Why do you want to _blush_? Everyone knows how you _feel_!"

 

Simon chuckles, which halfway wakes up Raphael, which makes Simon cradle his cheek, while forgetting he was just holding his phone, which now falls down.

 

Lily grabs it before it hits the floor and puts it next to them. "Sooo... you're staying here? How long? Why should I trust you with him?"

 

"I'll stay as long as you let me? Being without a clan is shit. And living in you ex-girlfriend's pool house is even shittier. I just ask for a quiet bedroom and the occasional glass of blood."

 

She squints at him with crossed arms. Though, she looks more relaxed that before, outside. She pushes her chin out and asks "Will you care for Raphael? He's fucking annoying when he's whiny. Maybe he's then busy again caring for you. Making up weirdly complicated job positions for you. If he weren't so talented in business stuff and if I wouldn't hate doing it so much I'd've dethroned him already. What an idiot. Voluntarily interacts with other clans and werewolves. Youngins and their motivation to save the world." She shakes her head.

 

Is he allowed back? Really? "So I get a coffin and blood if I occupy Raphael?"

 

She pulls a face. This isn't good. He has to leave. Awesome. Who else can he ask? He's not ready to move back in with his family! "You need wood? They rot so fast. And the termites!! We only have gold caskets. Or stone but only for prisoners. I wouldn't have a problem with you sleeping in the basement but the leader in your arms might have."

 

Oh. Ooh! "You'd really let me sleep in a casket??" A completely closed bed that doesn't move like the canoes? _Yes!_

 

Lily looks ... unhappy. But also not. "I'd have to. So you agree? You babies will babysit each other and us adults can go back to being adults?"

 

Simon beams. "Yes!"

 

She sighs relieved. "Get him to bed. He's cranky when he's hurting."

 

"No, he moved like this on his own because he _was_ hurting."

 

She shrugs. "Ask him. He's your problem now. Just make him do the office work. I don't care about the rest. It's late. Good day. Don't fuck up again. I'll kill you myself after he did." And then she's gone.

 

Simon just stops the hand that is massaging Raphael's scalp. He wakes up few seconds later with big sleepy eyes. "Hey. Let's get you to bed, okay? Seems like I'm your advisor now. Again." Raphael blinks and Simon points to the couch with his free hand. "See, we're on a couch. How about you sleep properly? And then later you'll take a shower and we think about the daylighter stuff again. Okay?"

 

Raphael nods and lays an arm around Simon's neck, the other hand securing Superman. "Carry me."

 

Sleepy Raphael is something different. Fine. He carries him to the casket but Raphael doesn't let go. "Rapha. Come on. Sleep."

 

"Don't leave. Also sleep."

 

Well. He should probably deny the offer. But why? Also he did promise he wouldn't leave. Awesome. At least the casket is rather big. He steps into it and kneels to put Raphael down. "How do you wanna do this? Can I sleep on my back?" After a minute he looks at Raphael who's sitting asleep. He shakes him awake softly. "Hey. Let's actually lay down."

 

Raphael nods slowly and pushes him down onto his back. "Gotta make sure you don not leave!" He beams. It's kinda cute. Then he snuggles into his side pressing Superman to his chest. He stills and whines. Then he pushes up and taps Simon's arm under him. "Hug." He lays back down and interlaces their legs. When Simon still doesn't move, too fascinated, he looks up frowning. "Hug!"

 

Simon hugs his neck and Raphael beams again. What did he get himself into? Before he has an answer he's asleep.

 

He wakes up from shuffling. Where is he? It's gold. Casket? Something tickles his chin. Brown hair. His chest is heavy. ... Raphael? Simon rubs his eyes which wakes Raphael up. He looks up at him with an all-teeth smile. And then pulls himself up on Simon's neckline until he's hovering over Simon's lips.  
"What are you doing? Not that I'd object but I just woke up and my brain is still booting."

 

Raphael blinks, looks down to Superman, back at Simon and his lips part. Looking back down he whispers "Simon." He pauses and then. "I was asleep."

Simon pushes his lower lip up and nods. Yes, that's what vampires do after bloodloss and at day.

"Si, my head hurts. And why is- uh, Superman, oh. Oh no. I should leave. You should leave. I'm exhausted." He lies back down.

 

What? "So who of us is gonna leave?"

 

He feels him shrug. "I don't care."

 

Awesome. "So since I'm trapped, you're leaving?"

 

"Yep."

 

"When?"

 

"Soon."

 

"Raphael."

 

"Soon. Not now. Blame Executive Disfunction."

 

Simon is _way_ too tired for this. "Shower and I call Phteve."

 

"Stephen. And I can't. Blood loss."

**Author's Note:**

> it's obviously not finished but the draft month is over. sorry ^-^


End file.
